Everything is Temporary

I find this simple statement comforting! As my yoga philosophy group is finishing up the way we make ourselves miserable, this is my key take away. That all of our misery in life is largely self created by our own actions and responses to what is happening and wishing it is another way. I am definitely not saying that I never feel any desire to change what is, or respond differently, because I sure do. But what I am learning is this; I can acknowledge how I am feeling, really pay attenetion to that emotion and let it run its course and then be ready to let it go. I don't need to live there.

When we are present to how things really are we see more fleeting moments like this.

I've been known to say that you need to sit in your suck. In my life that has been letting go of hopes and dreams that might not come true, to let relationships that have run their course, end. To move on to the next stage. I've held a daughter who never took a breath, let go of the independence that came with driving and working, watched my children grow and make their own decisions and choices. And I am in the place now where I am watching my parents age. So things have been easy to let go others less so.

I'd say that most of my time when I am upset, angry, worried, grieving... it is because I want something different than what is. Someone else's behaviour doesn't line up with my expectation of them. In that opportunity you can ask for what you need, set a boundary or let it go. Usually it is the one person I live with that pushes me here, and usually it is because I am tired. I am going to throw our a piece of advice to you should you every have someone with a brain injury in your life. If they say they are tired DO NOT ASK WHY. Because this is what I live with now and I am already over tired and maybe we all thought this would be better by now but it isn't OK?!?!?! But I digress...

We all have times in our lives when things do not go as we hoped or dreamed... the big ones... an unexpected diagnosis, job loss, a death of someone close to you, an unexpected move. The thing that makes us misereable is wanting them to be the way we expected or dreamed for them to be. Yes it is important to honour and FEEL what you are feeling in that moment. For me that often means I need to literally say it out loud. I AM SAD. I AM TIRED. I AM SCARED. No winding a story around it, justifying my feelings. Like in Dragnet, just the facts M'am. That simple honest act of labelling and not judging my how I am feeling helps me move through it and then most importantly let it go. There was a time in my life when I relished in the making up the story aroudn how I was feeling where I was the star and hero. I could write people their role as villain and have a hero save the day. I realize now, that behaviour drug out the suck rather than healing it.

All of our lives will end at some point and this is unavoidable. So for me when I notice that I am getting a little obsessive about little health things with my anxiety creeping up, I remind myself that getting sick and eventually dying is inevitable. The last great adventure. The idea of dying doesn't scare me but I don't like the idea of being sick. Haven't fully worked through that one yet, but it is getting better.

The biggest one for me though is through personal relationships and my expectations of what others should do, feel, say... and my thoughts and feelings when they display their own indepemdence and choose differenly, I mean what's the deal with that?!? It takes time to be gentle and accept these other humans as the souls in meat suits that they are. So I might still be annoye for a day or two but peace and acceptance comes much faster. Or at least maybe space. That I need to set a boundary for myself to not be involved. (if we chat ask me about he no drama llama).

Which brings me to this months mantra.

Sarvam Anityam

Everything is temporary. My bad mood. My fatigue. This life. This breath. This annoyance. This meatsuit. I have no control over any of it. Best settle in and enjoy the ride. Would I rather fight wth someone I love over something that will not matter in 50 years, or can just love them for them. You can hear me chant it 108 times here.

And there it is . Can we just enjoy the ride. Can I love as much as I can, make as many small mometns of connection as I can. Grow as much as I can. That is the life I want to choose. I am no longer writing a story with big dramatic plot lines. I am trying to see the remarkable gift that if the fact we all exist together and love it as it is. No stories. Consciousness. This is the invitation.