Right... Yoga means Union...

After I had my brain bleed and could no longer work, one of the hardest things was that all my friends were people I worked with. Not working, meant I had no support system. Over time I made new friends not through work but through common interests. It was largely people I met through yoga.

Now again, a change has shifted things. We moved from that community and the friends I made there I still talk with virtually every week. But I am trying to find my place here and meet new people where I am. It is complicated.

1. We are the youngest full time people in our community by about 15-20 years. I don't have an issue with that at all, however I do change my behaviour based on who I am with. I don't feel like I am my true self with anyone. I test the waters, I see what lands in conversation and what doesn't, I don't tell people immediately that I took my yoga and meditation teacher training because of assumptions that are normally made.

2. There is a lot of politics. Not just like normal polarized political views, there is that too, but I am okay with walking that delicate balance. Being left leaning and living in Alberta for 35 years you get pretty good at it. There is community politics. There are two stratas, one is our street, and the other is older and on the other street. That's right, there are two streets in my little neighbourhood, and each on is its own strata. One has been around since the 1950's, and ours is newer. They are at war. Sort of. There is absolutely a lot of gossip anyway. So much blame and talking behind one another's backs.

3. Finding your people is hard when there are fewer people.

I notice all the differences between myself and others. So my intention now is to notice the similarities and lean into that. I read something on a Buddhist facebook group that said something like "you do not grow when you are surrounded by people who think the same way as you." I am strongly leaning into that. I go for a walk with a neighbour almost every morning at 9:30. She doesn't like a bunch of the other neighbours, or the things they do. So I ask her about her family. She tells me about her sons and her grandchildren. She talks about her frustrations and joys. I can do that. I can listen. I can hold space for troubles, and celebrate wins.

I will look for the common humanity between us and neighbours and not get sucked into old stories that existed before I lived here. I will find stillness to determine what my course of action is. What is true for me. I will listen to my swan of discernment and let it guide me (read my previous blog post if your are conufsed).

I will try to be vulnerable when appropriate. I will stand up for myself and maybe gently play devil's advocate when needed. I will listen and ask questions. I will be curious and not defensive. And I will go home and pull down the blinds both metaphorically and literally when needed.

All just souls in meatsuits trying to do their thing. I will be gentle with this soul too. My goal is be more compassionate than guarded. More curious than defensive, more open hearted than closed off.

Being a grownup is hard sometimes. As kids we think grownups all have it figured out. We don't. It is all a journey. Ram Dass famously said "we are all just walking each other home". My goal posts come back again. Compassion and joy. Where can see it and more importantly BE it today. Everything else will follow. Or at least I hope it will.

Maybe I will make a new friend, maybe I will be the ear someone needs, maybe I get to pet a nice dog, but mostly I get to maybe see the sould inside that meatsuit. True connection. Maybe it isn't as hard as I am making it out to be.