Not What You Think
We think things that are incorrect all the time. Sometimes it is innocent like misreading something, or not hearing correctly. You can make yourself think something that is wrong at will. Do it now. Say "my name is Erin" in your head, and unless you are me or another Erin you absolutely just thought something that was incorrect. We do it all the time, and believe that our minds are infallible. We tell ourselves all sorts of things that are incorrect. We hold on to stories that may have once served us like they are law.
One of the biggest ideas in yoga and Buddhism is that you, your true self are not the thinker or feeler but the observer of your thoughts. The ego constructs story to understand other people and our relationships with them and the world around us. It is quite useful. We use our own experiences to learn and understand. But as you start on a path towards growth and understanding towards your true nature, some space in helpful in create true compassion an understanding.
This is the biggest thing that mediation has taught me. When we start meditating our minds run all over the place and you slowly bring it back to centre. I think non-meditators believe that the meditators who have a strong practice, don't have any thoughts at all. This is absolutely not the case. We don't follow the thought, or cling to it, or avoid it. It just passes. In fact noticing the rends of the thoughts you are thinking are a really good indication of where you need to do some work. The reason you see monks sitting crossed legged is because it is uncomfortable and it is a practice in being present to pain and not avoiding it. I often remind myself of this on the motorcycle when my butt starts to get sore. Can I be curious about pain and not avoid it. Prepares us for death, sickness and letting go.
I got distracted there and almost forgot my point, my point is this. When you realize that you are the observer of your thoughts and not the thought itself, there is a liberation. You don't have to believe everything you think. You can notice and reframe. You can rephrase things, you can accept... there is a pause between thought and feeling and action. The pause lets us examine the truth of the thought, or a time to reject it outright, or even a time to seek more information. This builds relationships and understanding. It allows us to not own others' problems and actions as our own. It allows us to retain our energy for ourselves and our own lives and obstacles.
Reaching in to yoga philosophy, the pause lets us practice satya or truthiness. What is the deeper truth in what is happening. Can I pause and let things settle even for a second before I need to react. It is Brahmacharya or energy management . What is mine to deal with and what belongs to someone else. Can I hold someone else’s pain and suffering in love withouth lettting it drain me or trying to fix it for them. It is astaya or non-stealing. I will not swoop in to save when it is not my place. I will not take other's journey into my hands. Not my place. It is ahimsa or non-violence. I will not speak words or do things to hurt others, and if I do I will make ammends.
The biggest changes I have noticed in my life since I started my practice:
I drop in anytime I notice the need to argue, protest or correct. I pause and stay silent longer.
I am a better listener and don't need or want to tell my "me too" stories that shut down communiation.
I can connect with people I likely would have avoided previously.
People cry around me a lot. I hope that means I feel safe and not just really sad.
I hear people with a clarity I didn't before, especially those close to me. And in turn I feel heard with more clarity too. Less miscommunications.
I am happier. I notice the negative thoughts and patterns and can reframe them. Instead of tired making me feel broken and "less than" it makes me smile at how much I must have done to get tired.
I am not over run by big feelings anymore. No big waves of excitement, not big times of anger or sadness. Equanimity . It had been this lofty goal a few years ago, and now I feel like I am there more and more often. I feel like I can cope with what comes my way without beign knocked off me feet.
So the whole reason that I am writting all this is that starting this fall I am doing weekley meditation sessions on my friend Jill's platform . It is free and if you would like to join us you are more than welcome. If you join her sister science communtiy for free you get yoga classes online (and you don't even have to turn your camera on), mediation and a community. You can sign up or get more information here.
If you want more from me reach out and we can talk. I have a fair amount of free time.
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